“Hey, do you have a minute?”
If you’ve been a manager for longer than about a week, your body has already learned what those words can mean. Someone’s leaving. Something broke. Someone is hurting, or someone is hurting someone else. Your heart rate goes up before your brain has even finished processing the sentence and somewhere in your brain a voice said “oh no”.
I want to start with my favorite “do you have a minute?” from the recent past, because it wasn’t any of those things. Then we’ll talk through exactly what to do when the news is on the bad news spectrum and some simple ways to get yourself (and the person on the other side) moving forward.
It’s Not Always Bad News
It was the time of year when our leadership team gets the results of our annual employee feedback survey. I had just walked out of a long meeting where we’d gone through all of it in detail: the good, the hard, and the stuff that makes you think “yeah fair, we need to make that change”.
My introvert battery was somewhere near zero, maybe hovering around 2%. I had just absorbed a year’s worth of feedback so I was overwhelmed and overstimulated. The perfect time for something else to happen, right?
A few minutes later, a mentee of mine stopped by my office and asked: “Hi! Do you have a minute?”
I said “of course!” automatically and I meant it. But I’m usually pretty good at keeping what I’m feeling off my face and in that moment I was so, so not.
My heart rate went up, I was already bracing, and I’m fairly sure it was written all over my body language. They noticed, thankfully. And they clarified:
“Oh, I’m actually here to check on you. You always do a good job of walking around to see us and check on how we’re doing and I realized it might be nice if we did the same for you.”
The relief was visceral. I felt so seen. And honestly, really touched that they’d noticed and then thought to do something about it.
I told them that. I also told them something I think about a lot: as managers, we’re usually on the not-so-positive side of “do you have a minute?” That’s part of the job and something I take seriously. But it makes being on the positive side rare and special.
I said I really value that people trust me with any kind of news (good, bad, or ugly) and that the good news is always a bright spot.
Then I reassured them that yes, I was feeling a bit fried in that exact moment, but I was generally doing well. We spent the rest of the conversation talking about the projects they were working on and their family, which was its own kind of relief.
Everyone Is Handing You an Egg
I’ve used an analogy with my teams for a while now: when someone shares news with you, especially personal news, it’s like being handed an egg. 🥚
Some days you get one egg, some days you get several. 🥚🥚🥚
Holding them all carefully is hard and sometimes your hands are already full when the next one shows up (hello, survey day). But being a safe nest for the people on your team is one of the most meaningful parts of this job.
When It Is Bad News
“Do you have a minute?” does sometimes end up somewhere on the bad news spectrum. This is a normal part of the managerial experience, so it’s good to keep that in mind while your heart rate speeds up and your fight-or-flight response kicks in.
Here’s what I actually do in those first few moments.
1️⃣ I thank them.
Every time I remember to (and I try hard to remember):
“Thank you so much for trusting me with this information. I’m glad you decided to say something.”
Bad news usually takes courage to deliver. Saying so out loud makes it more likely they’ll come to you early next time, rather than late.
2️⃣ I triage first.
I use the Emotional Temperature Framework (Green, Yellow, Orange, Red) to get a quick read on how urgent this is and what the person needs from me right now. Is this a “let’s find time this week” or a “close the door, everything else can wait”?
🚦 If you haven’t had a chance to read “Help, Someone is Crying in My Office” (where The Emotional Temperature Framework lives - with a FREE PDF download!) I recommend giving it a quick read. At the very least, take the free PDF as a resource to reference!
The triage has a hidden second job, too: it buys me a few seconds to notice my own reaction.
Heart rate up? Shoulders up around my ears? Those few seconds are when I take a couple of slow breaths and steady myself before I say anything that matters.
3️⃣ I get ready to take notes.
For anything on the bad news spectrum, documentation almost always ends up being useful, for them and for me.
Grab the notebook, open the doc, whatever your version is.
Ask first if it feels like a moment where note-taking would feel awkward or not ok. It’s usually appreciated / understood, especially if you say why.
4️⃣ I ask about timing.
Not every hard conversation has to happen in the doorway at 4pm on a Friday. What I’ve actually said is a version of:
“Is this something you’d like to talk about now, or should we schedule a time ASAP so that we can both devote our full attention to this?”
That gives them control over the pace and it’s an honest acknowledgment that sometimes the best version of me for this conversation is the one twenty minutes from now, not the one who just walked out of a three-hour meeting.
When You’re the One Who Needs a Minute
Here’s the part most of us forget: our teams (and our managers) feel that same heart rate spike when we say “do you have a minute?”
So when I’m the one asking, I try to lead with where on the spectrum the news lands. A quick preview takes the guessing out of it.
🛟 For something hard: “I have a challenging situation to share with you and I’d appreciate your thinking partnership. Do you have some time for me to share it? I can also find a time on your calendar later if that’s useful.”
⭐ For something good: “I have good news! Can I share it with you quickly?”
It’s a small, editorial change. But it means the person across from you gets to spend their energy on the actual conversation instead of on bracing for the worst.
✅ The “Do You Have a Minute?” Checklist
When someone asks you:
Thank them for trusting you with it
Say yes (or “yes, and...”) and take a breath before anything else
Triage with the Emotional Temperature Framework: how urgent is this, and what do they need right now?
Notice your own reaction and steady it
Get ready to take notes if it’s on the bad news spectrum
Offer the choice: now, or ASAP when you can both give it full attention
When you’re the one asking:
Preview where it lands: good news, a challenge, something you need help with
Offer a later time if now isn’t good for them
And once in a while:
Be the person who stops by to check on someone else, just because
That last one is the one I’ll remember. Not the survey results. Not the meeting.
A mentee in my doorway, noticing that the person who usually does the checking might need checking on too.
Not every “do you have a minute?” is bad news. Be the reason someone remembers that.
I’d love to hear your “do you have a minute?” stories: good, bad, and anywhere in between - how do you keep yourself (and others) calm and moving forward in those conversations?
What’s one thing you wish someone had done for you when you were the one asking if they had a minute?
See you next Tuesday,
Kaleigh
